Building Relationships - What Causes Relationships To Thrive Or Die Off?
There is SO much information out there about building relationships, how would you even know who to trust or where to start? The human psyche is confusing enough, but then to add them together to form RELATIONSHIPS… it’s more than many can handle.
Researched Theories about Building Relationships
Luckily, people like Heather Hundhausen, love to spend their free time going to the library and reading evidence-based research and articles on neuroscience (which chemicals are dumping at what time of your life), and she has been since 1992! She rode her bike to the library and started studying neurochemicals in her free time! This is a life-long passion for her.
Heather’s Childhood and Mission
The daughter of a couple who spent a lot of time arguing, fighting, disagreeing, being disconnected, critical, defensive, revengeful, resentful, contemptuous and co-dependent, Heather was determined to figure out HOW to end this in people’s homes.
Neuroscience, Chemicals and Building Relationships
We can get into
- the path of least resistance,
- the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse and
- other fun, research-based theories of building relationships.
Loving Yourself is the First and Most Important Relationship
But the EASIEST WAY to navigate and build relationships, is to love yourself, know yourself, take care of yourself, meet your own needs, clear your own pain, feel your own feelings and THEN, co-creating with another person is easy.
We get to release attachment. We get to release and heal our co-dependency. Heather uses Brene Brown’s research on Shame, John Bradshaw’s work on shame, Melody Beattie’s work on co-dependence and a lot of 12-step literature to release the addictions that happen inside of relationships.
Behavioral, Researched Couple’s Therapy
Heather uses John Gottman’s information from his research lab, everything from his intakes and follow ups, to just the basic transference of information and implementation for her coaching clients.
Heather is certified to teach Redirecting Children’s Behavior, which is a parenting course that has been around for over 25 years based on Adlerian theory. The course is mostly experiential work for the parents. But as you can read on the INNER CHILD PAGE, we are all just 2-year-olds in adult bodies screaming PAY ATTENTION TO ME!
When we can learn how to re-direct people who are inappropriately seeking our attention, and giving them attention at appropriate times, we will find that ALL of our relationships improve. We can redirect our children, our boss, our clients, our spouse and even ourselves.
Once we start to redirect inappropriate behavior, the key is to form deep, connected, intimate, lasting relationships. Heather’s favorite tool for doing this is using Harville Hendrix’s imago techniques, along with some other inner child work, and experiential, gestalt work. We learn best when we are DOING. And, in intimate relationships, the best way to learn how to do something new is in s SAFE space. Sometimes, the coaching space is the only safe space for a couple to work out their differences.
*Heather is NOT certified in imago therapy at this time. If you would like a certified imago therapist in South Florida, she recommends Cindy Ricardo.*
Because Heather is such a safe space, and easily teaches communication skills to her clients, she is referred to coach many divorcing couples. You don’t need a mediator to get a divorce. You just need to learn how to clearly communicate, and take responsibility for what you say. Heather enjoys teaching couples how to do this. Sometimes all that is needed is a present, and safe, third party.
Are you ready to start building a loving relationship with yourself and others? Sign up for Heather’s complimentary breakthrough session now!