Do you want to stop nagging and start loving your partner again? It’s pretty cool when you switch from making lists in your head about what you DON’T like about your partner (incessantly – as if somehow this list would change things) to non-stop thinking about how many AMAZING things your partner is doing (which will actually change things!).
One of my favorite (of a million) things my partner does is he doesn’t question my judgment. If he asks me a question, and I answer straightforwardly (which I have learned to do, believe me it’s a learned response), then he says, “ok baby.”
Or if I want to go somewhere. I check in with him. Ask him what he’s doing (typical woman, check in with man first), and then tell him what I’d like to do. And then he tells me what he wants to do, and if it has nothing to do with me (no negotiating necessary), then I say, “well, this is what I’m going to do.” And he says, “ok baby.”
If he AGREES to do something (can’t just nag and be bossy here – another LEARNED behavior 😉 and I remind him later, he says, “ok baby.”
He trusts me. He trusts me to lead him. He trusts me to guide him. He trusts that I am doing what is in the best interest of our family. He trusts that I am taking good care of myself. He trusts that I consider him first in every decision I make.
And because of this trust, he says, “ok baby.”
It’s an amazing ability. One I am learning. I always want to push back and say, “BUT what about …”
I’m learning to trust back. I have been telling myself every day that he loves me, considers me in everything, and in all ways wants to make me happy. Simply coming from this perspective has deepened our relationship and increased our intimacy 10 fold. Adding in acknowledging every time I see him do these things takes it to a level I’ve never known before.
It’s amazing to apply all of the tools that you know about relationships. It really creates amazing relationships!!
I hope someone can relate to all of this and can use these tools.
If I wasn’t clear, here are the tools on how to get your partner to stop nagging:
Tool #1 Trust yourself
Answer straightforwardly. Ask for what you need. (This part takes some work, sometimes our “needs” have always been taken care of for us (over-parenting, otherwise known as smother mother, or helicopter mom) and it’s hard to learn what you actually need, but with coaching, I promise, you can get your power back and know what you want and need).
Tool #2 Trust Your Partner
Trust your partner loves you, considers you in all things, and has got your back. (Easier said than done, I know, but give it a try).
Tool #3 Acknowledge Them
Acknowledge them when they do the amazing things you want them to do or that you like.
PS – these tools work with kids too…
PPS – stop making lists of things you don’t like, what you focus on expands…
PPPS – If you can’t trust your partner, why are you with them??
READ MORE FROM ME
Over the years, I have been a serial learner and practitioner, taking in information about psychology, religion, spirituality, science, medicine, quantum physics, relationships, parenting, and overall, general happiness and work-life balance. I’ve been fascinated in what it takes to and have created my life of pure joy, happiness, balance and peace. It is my mission to spread what I have learned and practiced to you in ways that are simple, easy to understand AND implement. I have served people in achieving realignment in their bodies, relationships and purpose for over 20 years. If you liked this article, and you want to read more, please visit one of the links below:
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Heather Hundhausen, a mind/body/spirit healer and facilitator, works with heart centered individuals who are ready to release their physical and emotional pain and reconnect their minds with their bodies so they can start living a life of passion and purpose. She assists people in making decisions in their lives by following their heart, mind, intuition and soul, from a place of being whole and in integrity.
With over fifteen years as a licensed massage therapist, Heather understands the connection between how someone's emotions can show up as physical pain. Using a variety of massage techniques, including neuromuscular therapy and structural realignment, she now does her ground breaking work by helping her clients to reach back through the pain and remember who they are to create wholeness and fullness.
During her years practicing traditional massage therapy, and while an intern working on her Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling, she realized that people responded strongly when addressing their feelings and not just their thoughts. Working with this knowledge, she began to create an experiential environment for her clients, having them focus less on what they were thinking and more on what they were feeling. She discovered that when people began to release their emotions, they also released their physical pain. Heather is now passionate about helping people do just this so they hear their inner voice and then act upon their intuition so they create a new physical, mental and emotional life for themselves.
Heather’s authenticity, integrity, honor, commitment to her clients, and ability to create trust ensures that client's have a safe space to experience the exploration and release of their pain. Her clients say she is skilled at spiritual and emotional healing and is a great partner to have on the journey to contentment. As one particular client stated, “She opened my heart so the grief could emerge and then joy was able to fill that space.”
Heather is a popular speaker and workshop leader and facilitator, with one of her most popular workshops, “Connect on Purpose: Interpreting Your Body's Signals for Greater Wisdom and Empowerment” helping guide people to live their purpose, which Heather describes as “being able to take your talents and gifts and put them into action.” She is currently authoring a book and developing additional workshops, including a meditation group.
A licensed massage therapist, specializing in Thai Massage, Neuromuscular Therapy and Myo-skeletal Alignment Technique, she has a Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling, is certified in Redirecting Children’s Behavior as a facilitator and coach.
