I hear you saying, “I need support”. I hear you saying you need appreciation. I hear you saying you need validation. But when I repeat it back to you… It’s empty. Because what you are waiting for is ME to recognize that I MATTER TO YOU…


I Need Support from YOU

If I haven’t done MY WORK… I will never understand the VALUE I bring TO YOU. And you will therefore, not feel valuable. You will feel, “I need support, more support.”

And neither will I. (I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen this in my practice.)

When I have done my work for you and you feel supported:

two women supporting one another, having their hands flat on the other woman's hand, in colorful bathing suites and hair up to a knot, staying on their toes, I support you and see the value I bring to your life

  1. I can sit in my shadow with your shame.
  2. I can see the value I bring to your life.
  3. I can understand that what I see in you, it’s really what I see in me that I’m projecting. Good or bad.
  4. If I can wholly accept myself, I can wholly accept you. Flaws and all.
  5. I can bring all my greatness and glory to the table to inspire you.
  6. I can acknowledge that I am important in your life.
  7. I can handle my responsibilities without being a victim.
  8. I clean up my messes and handle my shit because I love myself.
  9. I can make a hearth. A nest. For trust and safety. (Yes, men need to feel safety too to be vulnerable)
  10. I am a trusted advisor.
  11. I am your biggest cheerleader.

But if I haven’t done my work, I cannot be these things for you.


black and white image, woman with ponytail, white shirt and jeans, sitting in an open window frame, I support you

If I haven’t done my work, I will instead be:

  • Chaotic
  • A burden
  • Irresponsible
  • A mess in your way
  • Dis-trusting
  • Not believing in you
  • Critical of you
  • Energy draining

But that’s MY mess. Not yours.

Is your life cleaned up? Or are you projecting your mess into the person you’re trying to be in partnership with and asks you for support?


Heather HundhausenOver the years, I have been a serial learner and practitioner, taking in information about psychology, religion, spirituality, science, medicine, quantum physics, relationships, parenting, and overall, general happiness and work-life balance.  I’ve been fascinated in what it takes to and have created my life of pure joy, happiness, balance and peace. It is my mission to spread what I have learned and practiced to you in ways that are simple, easy to understand AND implement.  I have served people in achieving realignment in their bodies, relationships and purpose for over 20 years.  If you liked this article, and you want to read more, please visit one of the links below:

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