Are you a people pleaser with abandonment Issues? This was me. I lost a dream. I lost a fantasy. I lost the fairy tale. And I was addicted to it. It was my “Spiritual enlightenment” or “rock bottom” as some say… To realize that I didn’t need that “stuff” or that person to have happiness and love. I believed a marriage, 2 kids, a dog and a white picket fence meant happiness. But I was sadly mistaken.
I was being a gigantic jerk. I was full of unresolved beliefs and I was projecting them all over the person I loved, meanwhile ruining the relationship with people pleasing, control and emasculating my man.
Letting Go of the People Pleaser
Letting go of all of that has been my “work” for the last 11 years. I don’t have it perfect yet, but I understand myself better. I understand my needs better and I’m not willing to tolerate someone else doing to me what I did for so long.
It’s amazing how we get ourselves handed back to us as lessons from our significant other.
- I won’t give up on love.
- I refuse to stop evolving.
- And I will learn self-love in this lifetime.
When I take care of myself, there is plenty left over for you.
What Happens When We Give Ourselves to Our Partner First …
When I give you myself first, I feel empty, tired, incomplete and unworthy and I feel resentment towards you. Click To TweetSuch a hard lesson for a people pleaser with abandonment issues.
I needed to feel needed, so I attracted needy men to “fix.”
It didn’t matter if they hurt me or left, my abandonment wound simply says,
“I forgive you, come back.”
And I ended up in a mess.
Who can relate?
READ MORE FROM ME
Over the years, I have been a serial learner and practitioner, taking in information about psychology, religion, spirituality, science, medicine, quantum physics, relationships, parenting, and overall, general happiness and work-life balance. I’ve been fascinated in what it takes to and have created my life of pure joy, happiness, balance and peace. It is my mission to spread what I have learned and practiced to you in ways that are simple, easy to understand AND implement. I have served people in achieving realignment in their bodies, relationships and purpose for over 20 years. If you liked this article, and you want to read more, please visit one of the links below:
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Heather Hundhausen, a mind/body/spirit healer and facilitator, works with heart centered individuals who are ready to release their physical and emotional pain and reconnect their minds with their bodies so they can start living a life of passion and purpose. She assists people in making decisions in their lives by following their heart, mind, intuition and soul, from a place of being whole and in integrity.
With over fifteen years as a licensed massage therapist, Heather understands the connection between how someone's emotions can show up as physical pain. Using a variety of massage techniques, including neuromuscular therapy and structural realignment, she now does her ground breaking work by helping her clients to reach back through the pain and remember who they are to create wholeness and fullness.
During her years practicing traditional massage therapy, and while an intern working on her Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling, she realized that people responded strongly when addressing their feelings and not just their thoughts. Working with this knowledge, she began to create an experiential environment for her clients, having them focus less on what they were thinking and more on what they were feeling. She discovered that when people began to release their emotions, they also released their physical pain. Heather is now passionate about helping people do just this so they hear their inner voice and then act upon their intuition so they create a new physical, mental and emotional life for themselves.
Heather’s authenticity, integrity, honor, commitment to her clients, and ability to create trust ensures that client's have a safe space to experience the exploration and release of their pain. Her clients say she is skilled at spiritual and emotional healing and is a great partner to have on the journey to contentment. As one particular client stated, “She opened my heart so the grief could emerge and then joy was able to fill that space.”
Heather is a popular speaker and workshop leader and facilitator, with one of her most popular workshops, “Connect on Purpose: Interpreting Your Body's Signals for Greater Wisdom and Empowerment” helping guide people to live their purpose, which Heather describes as “being able to take your talents and gifts and put them into action.” She is currently authoring a book and developing additional workshops, including a meditation group.
A licensed massage therapist, specializing in Thai Massage, Neuromuscular Therapy and Myo-skeletal Alignment Technique, she has a Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling, is certified in Redirecting Children’s Behavior as a facilitator and coach.
