Are you a people pleaser with abandonment Issues? This was me. I lost a dream. I lost a fantasy. I lost the fairy tale. And I was addicted to it. It was my “Spiritual enlightenment” or “rock bottom” as some say… To realize that I didn’t need that “stuff” or that person to have happiness and love. I believed a marriage, 2 kids, a dog and a white picket fence meant happiness. But I was sadly mistaken.

I was being a gigantic jerk. I was full of unresolved beliefs and I was projecting them all over the person I loved, meanwhile ruining the relationship with people pleasing, control and emasculating my man.


Letting Go of the People Pleaser

Letting go of all of that has been my “work” for the last 11 years. I don’t have it perfect yet, but I understand myself better. I understand my needs better and I’m not willing to tolerate someone else doing to me what I did for so long.

It’s amazing how we get ourselves handed back to us as lessons from our significant other.

  • I won’t give up on love.
  • I refuse to stop evolving.
  • And I will learn self-love in this lifetime.

When I take care of myself, there is plenty left over for you.

sad woman sitting in the windowseal

What Happens When We Give Ourselves to Our Partner First …

When I give you myself first, I feel empty, tired, incomplete and unworthy and I feel resentment towards you. Click To Tweet

Such a hard lesson for a people pleaser with abandonment issues.

I needed to feel needed, so I attracted needy men to “fix.”

It didn’t matter if they hurt me or left, my abandonment wound simply says,

“I forgive you, come back.”

And I ended up in a mess.

Who can relate?


Heather HundhausenOver the years, I have been a serial learner and practitioner, taking in information about psychology, religion, spirituality, science, medicine, quantum physics, relationships, parenting, and overall, general happiness and work-life balance.  I’ve been fascinated in what it takes to and have created my life of pure joy, happiness, balance and peace. It is my mission to spread what I have learned and practiced to you in ways that are simple, easy to understand AND implement.  I have served people in achieving realignment in their bodies, relationships and purpose for over 20 years.  If you liked this article, and you want to read more, please visit one of the links below:

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