Finding joy comes from diverting the ego! This is what I realized at the end of my SER experience. I learned about finding joy and the diversion of the ego. Our EGO is amazing at keeping us from healing! Why would it ever try to do that? Imagine your inner mind is trying to fight against you in order to hold the status quo. It has learned from experiences that it has to be THIS way or THAT way, and it does everything it can to keep you safe, controlled and alive.
Your ego will squish you and make you as small as it can.
This prevents space for finding joy.
It will entangle you, squeeze you, lock you down, and make you believe you have to act in a particular way in order to stay alive.
Imagine how it feels, the way a part of you (that truly just wants you to stay alive) limits you and keeps you small.
That’s what happened to me and what I realized during this SER. But let me start from the beginning.
Why is Finding Joy so Difficult for Us?
I was on my third day of SER (Somato Emotional Release class at the Upledger Institute), learning the 3rd level of Cranio Sacral Therapy. (If you haven’t watched yet, see what happened on DAY 1 and DAY 2)
You Aren’t Good Enough
Your ego is trying to keep you small, and tell you you’re not good enough.
Well, the reality is, no one is better than anyone else.
Your BIG EGO is holding you small and trying to keep you alive by using the itty bitty shitty committee.
The Itty Bitty Shitty Committee
The Itty Bitty Shitty Committee is the bunch of voices in your head that tell you
- how to be,
- who to be,
- what to be, and
- how to act,
in order to keep you safe and alive.
Mine sounds something like this: You’re not smart, or worthy, and no one will believe you, so you better learn more, and prove to everyone everything you know so they will believe you.
By the way, don’t be so loud, don’t laugh so loud, don’t talk so much, hold it all together.
Don’t be so annoying. Everyone thinks you’re so annoying.
Your Big Ego Prevents Finding Joy in Your Life
Big ego creates pain – if it tells me I’m stupid, or better than everyone else – it creates pain.
The pain, I try to avoid, so I do what it says, so that I don’t feel insecure or stupid or embarrassed or ashamed.
You may experience these thoughts. The thoughts that prevent you finding joy, that keep you stuck, right where you are, but you know you want to be somewhere else.
But that part of you that just wont let you get there, that part that keeps you right where you are… you listen to it, and you don’t know how to overcome it!
Watching Myself in My Mind
My first ah ha moment during the session was when I was watching myself in my mind.
I could SEE my ego trying to trick the therapist, use a diversion tactic, and prevent me from healing!
I was fighting against that my body can heal itself, because my ego thought I could outsmart, trick and distract everyone.
It was a shield!
Afraid to Feel PainI read a lot of books and went to therapy, but I didn't CHANGE because I was afraid to actually FEEL. Click To Tweet
Been working on feeling for 10 years, and now I know feelings wont kill me, and we are all the same, all of our souls are the same – we are all worthy and valuable. It’s not how smart we are, or what job we have or how much we make or how many people we help.
Everything falls out from under you and nothing is left – can you handle that?
Yes, you can!
You Deserve Peace and Heaven
It’s total peace, and heaven. And you deserve it.
It might feel like a free-fall, because your ego has had you so tightly in place.
There’s nothing to hold on to, but it’s freedom. Actual freedom.
6-Year Old and Sitting in the Closet …
So let me tell you a bit about my experience. It started with me in the closet at 6 years old.
I have done other therapy sessions and other hypnosis sessions before on this topic.
Being 6 years old in the closet … but the therapists I have worked with have always had THEIR agenda and ways to “get me out” or “help me.”
The beauty of the Somato Emotional Therapy Technique is exactly that, these are massage therapists and touch practitioners.
They are NOT THERAPISTS!
They are not ALLOWED to guide you!
They Are WITH You in Your Closet
They are just simply there with you.
Being neutral, being present, and getting you to talk to you!
They, for the most part, stay out of it.
Once my inner being trusted that they weren’t going to take charge, all of a sudden the whole thing opened up for me!
I Have Absorbed all My Family’s Tensions
So, I’m 6 years old in the closet. I realize that I have taken all of the “tension” of the household into my body!
The therapist asks, “what happens next?” and suddenly, I’m teaching my inner child how to do healing work on herself!
I am SO Annoying!!!!
Then, this whole sequence happens with a lock around my throat that keeps me from talking, and a serpent that lives in my spine, that’s my shame, who tells me just how annoying I am, and literally constricts me to make me small and containable (since my true self, my fully expressed beautifully authentic self is UNCONTAINABLE!!!), since uncontrollable Heather is “SO annoying.”
The piece that happened next, even I wouldn’t have been able to create!
All of the sudden, my Goddess self, who actually has a name and everything, comes charging in, and with her sword, CUTS off the lock and SLICES the snake in half and sets me free.
I get the opportunity to STEP INTO my divine self for a moment, and realize just how BEAUTIFUL and AMAZING I am.
I find this ridiculous humor in thinking that I could possibly be annoying!
I realize that I am just as beautiful as the side of a lush, growing mountain with a waterfall.
How could nature ever be annoying?
What a ridiculous thing to make up!
If someone thinks nature is annoying, that’s not nature’s problem, that’s their problem. And that was my lesson.
Finding Joy is My Responsibility. Finding Out What’s Wrong with Me Isn’t My Problem
If you think there is something “wrong” with me, that’s your problem, not mine!
This technique is so beautiful and amazing and has added so much to my skill-set, not only in teaching me to be MORE present with my clients, and MORE neutral, to NOT put my stuff into what is yours AT ALL, because YOU are the most SKILLFUL healer you need, but also, it has shown me my own potential, abilities, and how unlimited I am as a healer!
Just like LOVE.
You cannot control your feelings.
They come, and they may overtake you, and you find that you can’t go back to living the way you were before.
With this work, I am changed.
Life may try to come between all that I learned about myself, but I still have an awareness of it and tools for finding joy now.
My mission is to create peace in the world by connecting each person to their truth, to their source and to each other. If you are aligned with this vision, please share this post!
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Over the years, I have been a serial learner and practitioner, taking in information about psychology, religion, spirituality, science, medicine, quantum physics, relationships, parenting, and overall, general happiness and work-life balance. I’ve been fascinated in what it takes to and have created my life of pure joy, happiness, balance and peace. It is my mission to spread what I have learned and practiced to you in ways that are simple, easy to understand AND implement. I have served people in achieving realignment in their bodies, relationships and purpose for over 20 years. If you liked this article and you want to read more, please visit one of the links below: