Staying focused is so tough to do! I will never understand how the mind or the emotions work. Every once in awhile I’m completely stunned, shocked and surprised. I have been studying this for almost 30 years now. You would think that I would have something of a clue about the area.
But this just happened … And I’m going to try to explain what I think I understand psychologically and spiritually, but I’m going to just end by saying “staying focused” or “staying in the present moment.” Because, truly that’s all there is anyway.
Staying Focused: On Country Western Dancing or Finishing Up the Bathroom?
So I’ve been acting like a victim lately, complaining that my bathroom never gets done and that Mike should finish it …
He made a very valid point today.
I went out country western dancing last night, and I just expected him to finish the bathroom. As if it’s his job. So today he says honey, I know you really want to finish the bathroom, why don’t you see if you can figure out how to take all the caulk and glue and mud off of the used bathtub that we were given, while I go out to dinner with my friends?
Are you freaking kidding me? I have to work on the bathroom?
Heather, you didn’t think I was just going to do the whole bathroom on my own did you? How did this become my job?
Behave Responsible for Reaching Your Goals
Mike, that is a very valid point. I have no idea why I thought you would be the only one completing the house project, especially since we chose to do it together. And even more importantly, I actually enjoyed doing the work with you and feeling like I’m part of it. I feel like a contribution to the household. I like knowing that I was part of it.He has a way of enrolling me into my life. Click To Tweet
So today, Mike went to dinner with his friends. We thought they were going to be his guy friends. It ended up being some families as well. So he called me. And said honey, come over and have dinner with us!
I Finish What I Start
But I had already started in on the cleaning of the bathtub, and told myself that when I finished I could have chocolate cake from Ikea. I looked up what time IKEA closed and it was 8 p.m.
I had two hours to get this caulk and junk off the fiberglass tub without scratching it.
I considered scrolling on Facebook and Pinterest for the next 2 hours, and not doing the tub at all, but I texted my coach, who lovingly told me go for it, the cake sounds great! Hahaha
… Staying Focused Means I Go For a Run Too!
So I finished, at 7:45. I could have made it over to Ikea for a piece of chocolate cake, and I could still make it over to Publix and get this really yummy chocolate cake that’s in the refrigerated section of the bakery that I found the other day. It’s this delicious molten lava thing that you put in the microwave for a minute. It was super good! So I could have that…
But instead, I started putting on my shoes to go for a run???? This is the part I just can’t understand?? This is the part of the human psyche that makes no sense to me.
Why on Earth, when I told myself that I could have a piece of chocolate cake when I finish the tub, did I instead want to go for a run and throw the chocolate cake out? What the actual Fuuuu?
Don’t Tell Me What to Do!
I’d like to say that I’m an authority on the subject of spirituality, psychology, listening to your emotions,…but… My mind is boggled…
I remember listening to a podcast once about 10 years ago that mentioned that a lady who was having trouble getting on her treadmill, should do her most favorite activity of the day while standing on the treadmill. She chose drinking her cup of coffee and reading the newspaper. So the therapist tells her don’t turn the treadmill on.
Just stand on it and drink your coffee.
Guess what happened?
Lo and behold, this crazy human turned the treadmill on and started running…
Overriding the Amygdala
The therapist explained it as overriding the amygdala. That basically, your subconscious mind sees the treadmill as scary, and that’s why you won’t get on it. So if you do your very favorite thing on it, like drink a cup of coffee, eventually the treadmill doesn’t seem scary and you just start running.
What is Your Amygdala Telling You?
So… My amygdala was definitely afraid of taking the caulk off of the tub. You should have seen the text that I sent my coach. I was, very purposefully, being a humongous victim. I wanted to tap into just how ridiculous I was being and feeling about it. I acted like a child. I exaggerated. Purposefully. And then I told myself, like an adult, that I could have chocolate cake, if I was a good girl.
( FYI this is conditional love and parenting and I’m not a huge fan of it and don’t often use it. You could also see it as “bribing.” But it was used on me as a child, and it definitely works. Still.)
So I used it. And evidently it got me motivated enough to do the tub. Even though I didn’t want to at all.
So why, when I finish the tub, did I want to go for a run instead of getting chocolate cake?
Changing Your Story
I can only imagine that somehow my amygdala I was afraid and somehow I changed the story?
I do know, that when we take action in our lives, that it feels very good.The reward is actually the action. It isn't the chocolate cake. Click To Tweet
Take Action, Stay Focused, and You’ll Win Joy
So, in my experience right now, I’m experiencing satisfaction, contribution, Joy, and fulfillment. Perhaps that’s what I was hoping to feel by eating chocolate cake? But I got it from completing an important job on the road to something I want very much. The bathroom to be complete! So I can throw the chocolate cake out, and have a new moment.
So I’m off for a run. By the way I don’t run. I don’t know why I’ve been running lately. Mike says I’m running from something hahaha, but I think what’s happening is I’m taking such good care of myself, that’s the best choice in the moment is to run and get my blood moving, get my heart pumping, get my body free.Exercise is vital and if running feels like fun, then I'm following the fun! Click To Tweet
I Feel Alive
The most exciting part of all of this to me, is that I feel like I’m living N.O.W. I am starting to understand this “there is no time” concept. There truly is only now. I’m also understanding that your emotions completely guide you staying focused on reaching your goals, or not.
If you feel super shity, It’s because you’re not in alignment with your true self.
I suggest doing something that feels like you’re heading in the direction of where you want to go to stay focused. There’s something really amazing about taking action on your dreams. Seeing yourself getting where you want to go, and taking the required action to get there.
So, I can’t explain all of this.
I just know that staying focused and doing the right thing, you feel right.
And when you feel right, you’re in the moment.
And when you’re in the moment, you do what’s an alignment with your higher self.
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Over the years, I have been a serial learner and practitioner, taking in information about psychology, religion, spirituality, science, medicine, quantum physics, relationships, parenting, and overall, general happiness and work-life balance. I’ve been fascinated in what it takes to and have created my life of pure joy, happiness, balance and peace. It is my mission to spread what I have learned and practiced to you in ways that are simple, easy to understand AND implement. I have served people in achieving realignment in their bodies, relationships and purpose for over 20 years. If you liked this article, and you want to read more, please visit one of the links below:
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