Scientists have studied the brain, and have found that rejection lights up in the brain the same way that pain does. So, rejection causes a similar reaction in the body to physical pain. Of course we would try to avoid it. A synonym for rejection is abandonment. The word origin of abandon is “to subjugate, subdue, from surrender.” According to an on-line thesaurus, Etymologically, the word carries a sense of “put someone under someone else’s control.” Meaning “to give up absolutely.” The noun sense of “letting loose, surrender to natural impulses” is from abandon.
Interestingly, I was raised by an extremely controlling, what I would now call conditionally loving father. If I did not do what he wanted, I was literally rejected. As a young child, I quickly learned to adjust MYself to what he wanted, in order to experience what both he and I believed was love. I became addicted to this type of control, and when I was out of my father’s house, continued to control myself and others in this same fashion. Which ended me up in a divorce 20 years after I left my parent’s house, 20 years after their divorce.
I experience a LOT of resistance around surrender. I know that surrender is the key to my health, the key to my relationships, and the key to my happiness. Although, I find it extremely difficult to surrender and trust.
If the word abandon comes from letting loose and surrendering to natural impulses, and is related to being under someone’s control and power, it is no wonder that I struggle to surrender and give up control. I have become so addicted to control, and so familiar with it, that giving it up literally feels like rejection, or abandonment. To give up my worst enemy, is to feel my worst pain. I literally have to hurt myself to give up what is hurting me so I can be healed. It is the scariest experience. Learning to trust myself, and to not reject and abandon myself, in the process of abandoning and rejecting the control that I have always known to be safe and loving. As I transform, and begin to realize that “safe” is an illusion, and loving has nothing to do with conditions, I become paralyzed to give up my old beliefs in order to not experience rejection or abandonment.
As one of my clients says, “Pain reflects your level of commitment.” Time to get messy.
Heather Hundhausen, a mind/body/spirit healer and facilitator, works with heart centered individuals who are ready to release their physical and emotional pain and reconnect their minds with their bodies so they can start living a life of passion and purpose. She assists people in making decisions in their lives by following their heart, mind, intuition and soul, from a place of being whole and in integrity.
With over fifteen years as a licensed massage therapist, Heather understands the connection between how someone's emotions can show up as physical pain. Using a variety of massage techniques, including neuromuscular therapy and structural realignment, she now does her ground breaking work by helping her clients to reach back through the pain and remember who they are to create wholeness and fullness.
During her years practicing traditional massage therapy, and while an intern working on her Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling, she realized that people responded strongly when addressing their feelings and not just their thoughts. Working with this knowledge, she began to create an experiential environment for her clients, having them focus less on what they were thinking and more on what they were feeling. She discovered that when people began to release their emotions, they also released their physical pain. Heather is now passionate about helping people do just this so they hear their inner voice and then act upon their intuition so they create a new physical, mental and emotional life for themselves.
Heather’s authenticity, integrity, honor, commitment to her clients, and ability to create trust ensures that client's have a safe space to experience the exploration and release of their pain. Her clients say she is skilled at spiritual and emotional healing and is a great partner to have on the journey to contentment. As one particular client stated, “She opened my heart so the grief could emerge and then joy was able to fill that space.”
Heather is a popular speaker and workshop leader and facilitator, with one of her most popular workshops, “Connect on Purpose: Interpreting Your Body's Signals for Greater Wisdom and Empowerment” helping guide people to live their purpose, which Heather describes as “being able to take your talents and gifts and put them into action.” She is currently authoring a book and developing additional workshops, including a meditation group.
A licensed massage therapist, specializing in Thai Massage, Neuromuscular Therapy and Myo-skeletal Alignment Technique, she has a Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling, is certified in Redirecting Children’s Behavior as a facilitator and coach.
