We aren’t taught in school how to build relationships. We guess at how to build relationships based on what we learned from our parents, which, as mentioned below, was probably based on conditional, behavior modification!
How to Build Relationships By Giving and Giving and Giving … Does This Sound Familiar?
It is better to GIVE than to RECEIVE – how many times have you heard this?
What is GIVING?
What is RECEIVING?
Since most of us were programmed that GIVING is BETTER… we have a hard time receiving. We believe that we should sacrifice ourselves for others. Very, many of my clients come into my office with their heart SHUT DOWN because they are AFRAID to RECEIVE LOVE!
We have even learned to shut off the love we have for ourselves! Instead of lovingly communicating with ourselves, we are hyper critical, looking for what’s not working and what we need to do better.
We project this out onto our partner!
How to Build Relationships By Loving Ourselves First
In the PREVIOUS work life balance buckets, we look at our body pain to realize where we are blocked, we learn how to control our thoughts, how to become our own LOVING parent, take care of ourselves fully, and set boundaries.
As we learn how to love and appreciate ourselves, fill up our tank first, and not allow others to abuse us, we are able to dive into healthy relationships!
We are learning how to give and receive love from ourselves, and this is the framework for learning how to give and receive it from others.
What were YOU taught about love?
Many of us were taught conditional love, and interact with those we love with manipulation, control, and conditions.
As we learn to communicate effectively, (and we meet our own personal needs first, not allow others to treat us badly), we are able to begin to express ourselves courageously and authentically to others.
We begin to lovingly, and fearlessly move in the world as ourselves, allowing others to see us, because we allow ourselves to see ourselves and be seen. This takes courage, bravery, and the willingness to connect and be intimate.
Intimacy = Into Me I See
Intimacy: I allow you to see me, and I allow myself to be seen, because I no longer feel “not good enough.”
I now love myself and know that I am worthy of love from others. And that if others do not want to give me love, that it has NOTHING to do with me. As we learn what is OUR interpretation, and how others are interpreting, we are able to hold the view of the “witness,” instead of the reactor.
READ MORE FROM ME
Over the years, I have been a serial learner and practitioner, taking in information about psychology, religion, spirituality, science, medicine, quantum physics, relationships, parenting, and overall, general happiness and work-life balance. I’ve been fascinated in what it takes to and have created my life of pure joy, happiness, balance and peace. It is my mission to spread what I have learned and practiced to you in ways that are simple, easy to understand AND implement. I have served people in achieving realignment in their bodies, relationships and purpose for over 20 years. If you liked this article and you want to read more, please visit one of the links below:
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Heather Hundhausen, a mind/body/spirit healer and facilitator, works with heart centered individuals who are ready to release their physical and emotional pain and reconnect their minds with their bodies so they can start living a life of passion and purpose. She assists people in making decisions in their lives by following their heart, mind, intuition and soul, from a place of being whole and in integrity.
With over fifteen years as a licensed massage therapist, Heather understands the connection between how someone's emotions can show up as physical pain. Using a variety of massage techniques, including neuromuscular therapy and structural realignment, she now does her ground breaking work by helping her clients to reach back through the pain and remember who they are to create wholeness and fullness.
During her years practicing traditional massage therapy, and while an intern working on her Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling, she realized that people responded strongly when addressing their feelings and not just their thoughts. Working with this knowledge, she began to create an experiential environment for her clients, having them focus less on what they were thinking and more on what they were feeling. She discovered that when people began to release their emotions, they also released their physical pain. Heather is now passionate about helping people do just this so they hear their inner voice and then act upon their intuition so they create a new physical, mental and emotional life for themselves.
Heather’s authenticity, integrity, honor, commitment to her clients, and ability to create trust ensures that client's have a safe space to experience the exploration and release of their pain. Her clients say she is skilled at spiritual and emotional healing and is a great partner to have on the journey to contentment. As one particular client stated, “She opened my heart so the grief could emerge and then joy was able to fill that space.”
Heather is a popular speaker and workshop leader and facilitator, with one of her most popular workshops, “Connect on Purpose: Interpreting Your Body's Signals for Greater Wisdom and Empowerment” helping guide people to live their purpose, which Heather describes as “being able to take your talents and gifts and put them into action.” She is currently authoring a book and developing additional workshops, including a meditation group.
A licensed massage therapist, specializing in Thai Massage, Neuromuscular Therapy and Myo-skeletal Alignment Technique, she has a Masters Degree in Mental Health Counseling, is certified in Redirecting Children’s Behavior as a facilitator and coach.
