Self love means more than just “I think I love myself,” or getting my nails done. Self-love means wanting to get to the next level of my business, but I cannot get there. It looks like how confident I am. In which ways do I stop myself? In order to gain confidence, a person accesses their self-love and they believe in themselves and feel they have self worth. Then you can access bravery and courage, and start living your life fully, and then achieve what you want in your business.
Self Love and Weight Management
Self love applies to health and weight management. If I love myself, do I eat donuts? I made the cinnamon roll video where I talk about doing what feels right for ME. What feels right when I take care of myself.
I use inner child work with my clients and myself to access self love.
What Does Little Heather Need?
For example, I ask little Heather what she needs and I get to re-parent her as a loving parent. Our parents did the best they could, but they didn’t have the greatest tools. Often what happened was they controlled us by shaming us or being martyrs, using guilt to get us to do what they thought was right or wrong for them to seem like good parents.
Re-Parenting Our Inner Child
When we re-parent our inner child, we are seeking to do what is best for the CHILD, to make the child feel
- taken care of, and
- having their needs met.
We want to interact with our inner child from a place of mutual respect and divinity of the child and calls forth their divinity. The loving parent is pulling the greatness out of the child instead of the scolding “you will do what I say” parent.
Pulling out the radiance and divinity can be messy, loud, dirty, which isn’t socially acceptable, although it is accessing the gifts of the child, which is something many parents want their children to have! Too many of us were scolded and we weren’t allowed to express our true selves. As we begin to see our true selves, we are able to really, deeply love ourselves.
Looking at Ourselves With Self-Love
When looking at lovingly re-parenting ourselves, we are looking at self-love. When I am digging in with my coaching clients, there is a conflicting conversation happening inside of them: the part that says the nice things and the part that says the not nice things. We are tapping into finding out WHO is saying those things in your mind.
When I Was Whoring Around …
Here is an example: my client said, “When I was whoring around.” I asked her if she was getting paid to have sex with men. She said of course not. When we asked, “who’s voice that was,” it was definitely something her mother would have said to her. When we broke it down, she was NOT having sex with men for money, which is the definition of a whore.
Listen to the Critical Inner Voice of a Parent
This would be a voice that we would look at. This client would understand that she IS not whoring around in her life, and that she NEVER whored around, and that this was a critical inner voice of a parent that wasn’t serving her, and keeping her from loving herself and access her fullness as a human being. When you see the inner child suffering from the harsh words of the parent, you can re-parent the child with loving, gentle words.
You Aren’t Good Enough to Have a Good Day!
Here is another personal example from my life. Over the weekend, I had a thought that was “I am going to have a good day,” and there was a little voice that said, “no, you aren’t allowed to have a good day.” When I felt into it, I realized it was one of my parents. I had a conversation with this voice in my head and said, “You’re not in charge anymore.” Then I allowed my own inner parent to say to me, “you are wonderful, and you are worthy of having a great day!”
When we allow ourselves to notice and see what we are creating in our lives, then we can take personal responsibility for our lives to create what we want. Instead of thinking that life ‘out there’ is doing me wrong. When we go internally inside ourselves, we can see what we are really, truly upset about. Then we can generate forgiveness inside ourselves, which instantly creates self love.
What is Self Love?
Self love is re-parenting the inner child.
Lovingly talking to ourselves in a gentle way. Letting go of nasty thoughts. Pulling out the radiance and beauty inside and building up our confidence as we recognize our radiance.
Instead of thinking “nobody wants me” to be able to say to myself “I want you.” And to truly believe it, I was able to fill up that empty hole inside of me. I had been looking for it outside of myself. When I was able to give it to myself, it made me feel SO full!
That is bucket #3!
- Re-parenting ourselves.
- Becoming confident!
- Staying in integrity with ourselves.
Self-love plays a role everywhere! You will begin to feel more FREEDOM, which we are all looking for. Self-love creates a foundation to create everything else that you want, like happiness. Happiness isn’t external, it’s internal, and we can access it when we start to love ourselves.
Please make sure to check out all of the other work life balance BUCKETS to create a well-rounded, happy, fulfilled, balanced life!
READ MORE FROM ME
Over the years, I have been a serial learner and practitioner, taking in information about psychology, religion, spirituality, science, medicine, quantum physics, relationships, parenting, and overall, general happiness and work-life balance. I’ve been fascinated in what it takes to and have created my life of pure joy, happiness, balance and peace. It is my mission to spread what I have learned and practiced to you in ways that are simple, easy to understand AND implement. I have served people in achieving realignment in their bodies, relationships and purpose for over 20 years. If you liked this article, and you want to read more, please visit one of the links below:
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